Feminist Fare Friday: Edition #14
"You can't be what you can't see."~Miriam Wright Edelman
Last night I attended my first TEDx event called Landscape-Changing Women. It was organized by two ambitious women in Edmonton and was by all accounts a huge success. The highlight of the night for me was hearing and seeing my friend Joanne Minaker up on the stage talking about the importance of Care in our society-she was (and is) brilliant!. From December 4-6 the TEDWomen2013 conference is taking place in San Francisco and more than 58 countries are also joining in with independent TEDxWomen events of their own.
I said in my last post that the landscape is changing and that our time is coming for a more effective feminist revolution. I don't believe that I am wrong, and I am inspired by all the TEDWomen events happening around the world this week, but as you can see from the examples below, we have A LOT more work to do.
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1. Emilie Graslie is smart. Not a smart girl, not smart for a girl. She is just really, really, smart. And she has a great educational Youtube channel called "The Brain Scoop". On it she talks about all kinds of cool, interesting and amazing topics that she comes across through her work at The Field Museum in Chicago. Emilie also reads all of the comments on her Youtube page and has a few things to say about that too...
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRNt7ZLY0Kc&feature=share&list=UUkyfHZ6bY2TjqbJhiH8Y2QQ&index=1[/youtube]
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2. And while we are on the topic of women in media, the people at The Representation Project put together this video showing us where the media got it right and where they got it so, so wrong time and again this past year.
[youtube]http://youtu.be/NswJ4kO9uHc[/youtube]
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3. We all need to use some stock photography now and then (or you should be using and paying for it, stealing other people's photos is not good). I personally like istockphoto. The folks at NY Mag put together this somewhat hilarious slideshow of stock photos all meant to show us "how to be a feminist". Once again this serves to further prove the point about how women are misrepresented in all kinds of media. And clearly, I don't have enough boxing gloves, ladders, folders or X-rays in my feminist get-up!
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4. Take 5 minutes to watch this. And then know that literally 100% of the images of women that you see in advertising and in most magazines are altered. There is absolutely NO possible way for any human woman to "look just like {insert ideal perfect woman here}".
[youtube]http://youtu.be/jWKXit_3rpQ[/youtube]
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5. We are taking our kids and their cousins to see "Frozen" after school gets out for winter break. I am not sure who is more excited about this, me or them?! From what I have read about the movie so far, and from what the majority of my friends have said about it, it is a FANTASTIC movie! According to Amanda Rodriguez at Bitch Flicks, it is also Disney's first foray into feminism! AND, slight spoiler alert, it passes the Bechdel Test in the first five minutes of the film. I'll save my full review for after I actually see the movie, but YAY! for Disney (of all media outlets, really) for finally starting to get with the program!
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Have you read or watched something that you think I should include in an upcoming edition of Feminist Fare Friday? Send me the link via Twitter or on the Stay at Home Feminist Facebook page.
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
natasha~
Selfie: An Official Word.
In honour of Selfie becoming the official word of the year according to the smarty-pants peeps over at Oxford Dictionaries, I give you 13 of my very own selfies.
The good, the bad, the 'what the hell was I thinking', and the 'yeah, that's right, I did just post that SELFIE all over the internet, future employers be damned'!
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1. The 'Look I am at the hospital and they made we wear this ugly gown.' selfie.
2. The 'Trapped under a sleeping child.' selfie.
3. The 'Look how artistic I am, I caught myself in a ray of sunshine.' selfie.
4. The 'My kid is the handsomest EVER' selfie.
5. The 'Duckface' selfie. (I am so, so, sorry!)
6. The 'I don't really go to the gym, I swim instead and look like a dork in my swimcap.' selfie.
7. The 'make a funny face and stand sideways so you look slimmer' obligatory, bathroom selfie.
8. The Pet Selfie. (That took 15 takes!)
9. The 'Look at me, I got caught in a torrential rainstorm.' selfie.
10. The 'fresh out of the shower' selfie. What? Cleanliness and Godliness and all that....
11. The 'kissing my little mini-me' selfie.
12. A picture of a POLAROID selfie! (This shit is GOLD people!)
13. And finally, the 'its -30 degrees Celcius and this smile is actually frozen on my face' selfie.
LONG LIVE THE SELFIE!!
natasha~
Feminist Fare Friday: Edition #8
I am very sorry, it's been two weeks since I've served up some yummy feminist fare for you. As you can imagine, a lot has been going on in the feminist realm and I'll do my best to get myself {and you} up to speed and back on track. This is what happens when a certain 41-year old goes to a blogging conference and stays up carousing until 2 AM for three nights in a row. At my age, it takes exactly 10 days to recover and get one's head out of the fog that those three days created!! But, I did have a REALLY, really good time and you can read all about it here. Now, onto the good stuff.
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1. Last week the internet was all up in arms about a T-shirt. Granted it was a masturbating, menstruating vagina t-shirt from American Apparel and artist Petra Collins, but still a simple t-shirt none the less. And while I am not about to go out and buy this particular t-shirt, I do get that it is art and art is meant to provoke. And really folks, there are a lot more crazy and WAY more offensive things put on t-shirts these days than a depiction of someone's lady parts. Now, if it wasn't enough that the internet went all bat-shit-crazy on Petra over her t-shirt, her Instagram account was recently deleted as well. Why exactly is still not clear, but Petra herself has some thoughts on why an image of part of her unaltered body (that contains no nudity) may have caused this level of online censorship to occur and it is making me feel very, very angry.
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2. And while we are on the topic of the female body, I came across this powerful poetry reading last night from Lily Myers called "Shrinking Woman".
[youtube]http://youtu.be/zQucWXWXp3k[/youtube]
This piece really gave me pause, especially because I have a daughter and I don't want her to absorb that kind of "accidental inheritance" from me about food, about my body or hers or about how much space women are "allowed" to occupy in this world.
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3. It is that time of year yet again. Halloween. Or as I like to call it at our house, "Hallo-avoid every commercial store and costume EVER because MY 5 YEAR OLD IS NOT SEXY AND SPIDERGIRL DOESN'T WEAR A PINK TUTU-ween". Beth Greenfield at Yahoo Shine examines what kind of messages these over-prettified and hypersexualized costumes send to our children. HINT-not good ones!
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4. Privilege. It's a word we hear a lot these days. Gender privilege, race privilege, socio-ecomonic privilege, it's out there people and for a lot of folks, privilege is a really hard thing to truly grasp. Which when you think about it, is incredibly ironic and sad. I had an interesting experience last week talking to a middle-aged, middle-class white man about women being shamed for breastfeeding in public. Do you know what he said to me? He interrupted me, told me he can't even believe that this is an issue in our day and age and dismissed the problem outright. Here's the thing. I am a white, cis-gendered, middle-class woman. I HAVE privilege up the ying-yang! But not until that very moment when my experiences and that of so many other breastfeeding mothers was so summarily dismissed by someone who has privilege that I do not, did the whole concept of PRIVILEGE come to full fruition in my brain.
In feminism, no talk of privilege can exist without intersectionality coming into play and I know that for some this can seem like some kind of high-level academic feminist balderdash. I assure you it is not and in this incredibly honest piece from Winona Dimeo-Edigar at The Frisky, you will see why it's as fundamental to feminism as the basic premise that "Feminism is the radical idea that women are people".
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5. And finally, it's October, or "Pinktober" according to KFC, the NFL, Chambord, Pilsbury and a whole slew of other brands and retailers cashing in on "raising awareness" for breast cancer and donating a mere pittance of the proceeds from all their pink merchandise to actual cancer research. Cancer is not pretty. It is not pink. It is not about "setting the tatas free" on a ridiculous no-bra day campaign. It is painful and devastating and life-altering and women young and old are fighting for their lives against this beast. The public needs to see this side of breast cancer and that is what The Scar Project is doing with this striking photography series of young breast cancer survivors shot by fashion photographer David Jay. It's not easy to look at these photos, but it puts a reality to breast cancer that the general public needs to see before heading out to buy another big pink garbage bin. Please donate directly to your local cancer societies or to any number of organizations that directly help cancer patients and survivors and avoid all the "pinkwashing" of this terrible disease.
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On that note, I wish you all a safe and wonderful weekend!
Peace,
natasha~
Feminist Fare Friday: On Saturday (again). Edition #6
I think from now on I should just take all of September off from everything else except getting everyone (especially ME) established into our school and activity routines. All this lunch making, homework doing, form after form after form-filling out and timing dinner just right on our extracurricular activity days is exhausting. Needless to say, this stay at home gig of mine is actually feeling very much like a 'job' these days! But feminism and the internet wait for now woman. And this week there a couple of DOOZIES out there!
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1. "There she is.... Miss America...." Oh, wait, what?? She is NOT WHITE! Oh, hell NO!!
That unfortunately was the response of a lot of hateful, racist, disgusting people after the very beautiful Nina Davuluri, Miss New York, was given the ultimate in beauty pageantry bling last Sunday. I have to say that I did not watch the pageant, as I kind of have a rule about these things (as in, I would rather watch a 'Lady Hoggers" marathon before I ever watch a beauty pageant again!), but I was on Twitter that night and saw some of the tweets on the #MissAmerica hashtag. After a night of everything being about beauty and glamour, what happened on Twitter after the fact was like night and day, if day was a terrible racist with no ability to spell and an irrational fear of all things NOT WHITE!
There is more to the whole Miss America pageant that is disconcerting to me and I am not the only one. Elizabeth Plank at PolicyMic had this to say:
Yeah, why is that??
2. Oh and while one organization is awarding scholarships for women to go to college (albeit based on how they look in their bikinis and ball gowns), over here on the FAR, FAR, right, (and under the guise of some sect of Catholicism that they forgot to teach me at Sunday School), we have this guy telling girls that they should NOT be going to college at all! I know, I know, it really is all a bit baffling for us women-folk.
But just so our younger generation doesn't get all caught up in the confusion, Lindy West at Jezebel is having none of this ridiculousness and has something to say to all the "Good Catholic Girls" out there!
There is more. A lot more. It's a good read and Lindy, well, I really really dig her!
3. Since you are probably sick and tired of me going on on an about Blurred Lines, I thought I would share this little gem I found about the lyrics of a different song. Baby got (respect) Back!! Of course, now I can't get that song out of my head!
4. And this may not have much to do with feminism, but that damn Louis CK. He is SO right about so many things...
[youtube]http://youtu.be/5HbYScltf1c[/youtube]
Have a great weekend everyone! September is almost over and I'll get back on schedule soon. Right?
Cheers,
Natasha~
Faking it on the playground catwalk!
I have gotten a few comments lately from some of the mamas at the kids school that I always look so put together in the mornings. First off, I'd like to point out that most of these lovely ladies probably haven't had their first coffee yet and therefore they may be slightly groggy and not seeing things straight. And second.... HA! I've fooled them all. Now, I am not a fashion/style blogger by any stretch of the imagination, but man I do love all those pretty, pretty websites. One look at A Beautiful Mess or Adventures in Fashion and I am lost in post after post after post of beautiful photography and happy pictures and gorgeous outfits and I end up pinning and bookmarking for hours!
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Oh HI... SEE! I was a total goner for a bit there.
What was I saying again? Oh yeah...
If there is anything I have learned in all my years dressing myself (remember, I am really OLD), from the ladies of the style blogs and originally from my grandmother, is that one's style does not have to be complicated. And as most of us are moms and busy parents getting our little ones dressed and out the door in the mornings too, I thought I would share a few of my own simple style tips and share my "oh-so-put-together-look" secr.... hahahaha!! Oh, man, I can't even say it without laughing!
But if you really want to know, here's how I do it....
1. One word. Accessorize! I have always been an accessory gal and I have embraced my jewelry drawer (yes, I have a FULL drawer) once again with a zest that makes my husband VERY nervous whenever a new Stella & Dot catalogue comes out! Earrings, necklaces, bracelets, it's all coming out these days! Don't be afraid to jazz up the jeans and t-shirt practical mom uniform with a big chunky necklace or a long chain with charms or a funky cuff bracelet. And EARRINGS! I am obsessed with big dangly earrings (I highly suggest you check out the selection in the above S&D link).
And baby mamas, you are no longer being left out of the jewelry game for fear that your little one with wreck everything. Companies like Chewbeads, MommyNecklaces and KangarooCare on Etsy are providing moms with very fashionable and functional pieces to complement everyone's wardrobe and style!
2. Do not be afraid of colour! It's easy to get into a black/grey/neutral rut with your clothes. Yes, yes, I know, black is slimming and I am not saying get rid of all your black leggings (Ooooh! Remind me to tell you about THE BEST LEGGINGS EVER a bit later!!), but try to avoid the full head to toe black ninja look. Throw on a cardigan in a great colour or a bold scarf to break up the monochrome! Colour is your friend mamas. Trust me!
Even on a cold rainy day at a music festival!
3. Diaper bags have ruined me forever. I can't function without a big purse anymore. Even though I am no longer carrying an extra change of clothes for everyone, wipes, diapers, snacks, crayons, various lego pieces and something unrecognizably sticky at the bottom of it, I still need to have a big bag. And a nice big purse is a FABULOUS accessory! Again, try something in a different colour and move away from the practical black and browns that "go with everything". RED goes with everything. As does yellow, a great turquoise and a funky leopard print too! I am a sucker for the purse aisle at Winners and I do so love the stores that colour code all the bags too.
This is my current carry-all.
4. Make-up. I have a couple of must-put-on products in my make-up drawer and I seriously can't leave the house without them. One is my BB cream. I am currently using this one and it really is a little bit of magic in a tube. Then I add my bronzer and my favourite mascara and I am good to go. This simple routine takes me under 5 minutes to do. A little lip gloss in the car and then I am super fancy!
There you have it. My tips for looking like you're "all put together" on the playground. No one needs to know that you probably haven't had a shower yet or that under that scarf is a jam stain from a little person's sticky breakfast fingers. And here is another little tip from me to you.
Putting on those fancy earrings or that great necklace not only gives your look a boost, it gives you one too. It's something you are doing just for you. So YES, go get those earrings that you think are only for special occasions and wear them today and ROCK that playground!
“I admit it's tempting to wish for the perfect boss, the perfect parent, or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize what we've got."
~ Carrie {Sex & the City}
natasha~
P.S. I am smiling in this photo, but not 5 minutes later I was swearing a blue streak because I was 2 minutes late for my parking meter and got a martha-fockerring ticket!
But HOT DAMN, I look good in those earrings!!
P.P.S. Here are the leggings I was talking about! I bought a pair of the 3/4 length ones at Wilde & Sparrow (my favourite store in Parksville) when we were on holidays this summer and have just ordered another high-waist full length pair too!
P.P.S. DISCLAIMER: Not one of the products or stores mentioned in this post has compensated me for mentioning them. When I love something, I love it and I like to share with those who might love it too!
For your viewing pleasure...
Here's the deal. I had this really deep, insightful post that I was working on earlier today... and then something shiny must have grabbed my attention, because I totally lost my train of thought and couldn't get it back on track to save my life or the post, which is now sitting in my ever growing draft folder. BUT...
I really, really wanted to publish something today and I have been watching videos on Youtube for the last 40 minutes. So now you get a list of what makes me cry, laugh, laugh some more and then drool. I won't blame you if you never want to come back again... but I do hope you will. Please tell me some of you 'get me'.
1. This one might make you cry. I did.
[youtube]http://youtu.be/TUM4Mb9rUTU[/youtube]
2. I know you've probably all seen "The Fox" video from Ylvis, but this one is my new fave!!
[youtube]http://youtu.be/PaEnaoydUUo[/youtube]
3. Best poop commercial EVER! Also, B tells me that they have some of this at his office and it totally works!
[youtube]http://youtu.be/ZKLnhuzh9uY#aid=P-6YCzt26Ik[/youtube]
4. Miley Cyrus released her new video last week and then this happened! I can't stop laughing!
[youtube]http://youtu.be/2XQGcMrq4bQ[/youtube]
5. Not a video, but you have to check out these shots of my TV boyfriend, Kit Harington. Makes me wish Winter would just get here already (sadly it won't until Spring 2014)!! Mama needs some SNOW!
Good night all!
natasha~
How to relieve tension: A list.
I feel like today is a list day. The past few days (weeks?) have been trying ones around here. I have an almost 7 year old son who wishes he was a grown up so he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants, who thinks he KNOWS everything and who likes to speak at a volume that most people reserve for the front row of an ACDC concert.
So because of all the yelling that I have been doing, all the frustrations I am feeling, all the tension in my upper back, I give you the following:
The top 15 reasons my kid is the BEST EVER!
1. He gives full body hugs. Arms, legs, all of him is in it.
2. Regardless of how crappy our day is, he tells me how much he loves me before he goes to sleep at night. Most of the time it is "more than all the grains of sand on all the beaches in all the world".
3. He knows more about dinosaurs than any other person I know, big or little!
4. He still crawls into bed with me every morning for a snuggle and sleeps in my arms exactly like he did when he was an infant.
5. He has the core strength of an Olympic gymnast and could likely shame a grown man with his plank and one handed push ups!
6. He has some MAD illustrating skills and can draw a wicked Godzilla (circa 1998).
7. When he laughs, he does so with his whole body and soul!
8. He bugs her mercilessly every day, but on the playground, NO ONE messes with his baby sister.
9. He can climb anything. And scares the SHIT out of me doing so!
10. He wears his heart on his sleeve and is not afraid of his emotions or of showing them. It's the part of him I know he got from me.
11. We have a secret mom and kid handshake that means "I love you".
12. He will eat almost anything at least once!
13. He calls me on my bad language or when I break any of our house rules.
14. He is not fearless, but will push himself to face his fears and overcome them.
15. He is and always will be my baby boy!
I do love this kid!
natasha~
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Summer Blog Challenge: Updated List Here!
Feminist Fare Fridays: Edition #2.
Summer is winding down at our house and the kids and I are trying to squeeze in the last of our city's summer festivals, beautiful weather and lazy days of doing whatever we want before school starts and schedules and routines take over. I have been spending more time away from the internet because of this, but don't worry, I still managed to curate some of this past week's feminist fare for you!
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1. I like the Onion. Satire makes us look at our world and realize how incredibly worked up we all get over a lot of silly things. And I will admit that a few times I have been almost fooled by their articles....almost. Last week though, they crossed the line with a post titled, "Adolescent Girl Reaching Age Where She Starts Exploring Stepfather's Body". I don't care if it is supposed to be satire, this was NOT FUNNY. As a survivor of sexual abuse at the hands of a trusted neighbour when I was 12 years old, this post made me sick to my stomach and was incredibly triggering. How many times does this need to be said? Sexual Assault is not funny, RAPE is not funny, ABUSE is NOT FUNNY!!! Please stop trying to make it funny. It is never going to work. {Sigh}
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2. Do you know what the Bechdel Test (for movies/TV/literature) is? I actually didn't until early this month. In a nutshell it goes like this:
To pass the test your movie must have the following:
1) there are at least two named female characters, who
2) talk to each other about
3) something other than a man.
Think about it for a bit. Pick your top five favourite movies and see if they pass. NONE of my favourites pass (Sound of Music, Dirty Dancing, Highlander-don't ask!, Breakfast Club and Shawshank Redemption). And it seems that there is a reason for that. This is an older post, written in 2008 by Jennifer Kesler, but as you can see, writing male leads FOR a target male audience with female roles serving only as props for these men, seems to be the norm in Hollywood. And as far as I can see from the last few movies/television series I have watched, (with the exception of breakthrough series like Netflix's Orange Is the New Black which feature a mainly female cast) not much has changed in the past five years. Definitely something to think about next time you are spending your life's savings to go see a movie at the fancy new theatre.
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3. Blogger Nate Pyle wrote an incredibly compelling post about a future conversation he is going to have with his young son. I think it is a good reminder to all of us about how we 'see' those around us; man or woman, black or white, gay or straight and everything in between...
"Humans objectify the things they love in effort to control them. If you truly love a person, do not reduce them to an object. The moment you objectify another human – woman or man, you give up your humanity."
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4. My wonderful online friend, fellow fabulous feminist and all around really cool chick, Avital Norman Nathman has complied an incredible list of essays from mothers of all walks of life and written a book called "The Good Mother Myth:Redefining Motherhood to Fit Reality". As of this week, the book is available for pre-sale on Amazon.com. Go ahead, be one of the first ones to get this book in your hands and maybe, just maybe we can all stop trying to live up to some great mythological deity of perfection!
'till tomorrow my lovelies,
Natasha~